Tag Archives: Happiness

Blessings

1. New shoes.  Sparkly! Shiny! Perfect for the wedding Big J and I are going to next week 🙂

2. My lovely friend of a year, A, the Universe’s perfect answer to my requests for a friend with a heart filled with love and light, who lives 5 minutes away, whom I can text when I buy shiny new shoes!

3. C playing guitar, a week after I gave up asking her to 🙂

"THIS is how I like to play my guitar"

(You can see why I drove to Wales for that lazy-boy sofa.)

4. Our tomboy C has been playing with her dolls! Not dressing them in pretty clothes, exactly (Grandma did that at the weekend), but she did colour one of the casts a nice shade of purple 😀

5. J has been listening to Sara Book 1: Sara Learns The Secret About The Law Of Attraction! C listened to all three Sara books two years ago when J was a bit young to follow (and of course too young to have forgotten all that stuff anyway ;-)).  I read him a chapter last week,  soon after that he rounded up the CDs from around the house – and now he’s hooked!

6. While he listened, J joyfully arranged his Yu-Gi-Oh cards into “attack-ical” order 😀

7. My new friend C. Oh my, the BLISS of sharing ABRAHAM! A fellow home-educating deliberate creator! I appreciate myself and C SO much for allowing law of attraction to bring us together!

It’s All Unfolding Beautifully

Two summers ago my dear friend Sarah visited us at the coast.  It was a windy summer and on that particular day the high tide sea was completely wild, but having made the journey from London, Sarah was keen to try the water.  Once we’d mustered our courage and run down the steep slope through the point where the waves crashed mercilessly down on the beach, we found ourselves in deep, deep water, waves as tall as us hitting us every few seconds.  Once we were in, I realised this was the roughest sea I’d ever “swum” in (I decided not to share that observation with Sarah until we were safely back on dry land!).

We spent an exhilarating 10 minutes making split second decisions as to whether it was safe to let ourselves be lifted up high by a still-rising wall of water, or whether an approaching wave had passed the point of being safe to float over and had to be dived through.

My experience of home-educating over the last few weeks has felt a bit like that day in the waves.  Making a decision about whether C is to take up an offered place at a local (“outstanding”) junior school has put our homeschool under a magnifying glass, at a time when it’s probably not wise to look at it very closely at all!  It’s been a very intense few weeks, with some highs – I’ve loved researching different homeschool styles  and exploring some of the wealth of practical and inspiring home ed information out there – and some more, as we deliberate creators say, “contrasting” experiences!

Listening to an Abraham workshop CD in the car earlier (one that just happened to be still in my CD changer – my boot is so full (I’m not sure what of 😐 I don’t change the CDs often), I was reminded that “it’s all unfolding beautifully”.  After over four years of school (including nursery), C has been at home for just five months.  I’ve only been home-educating for a year, and the changes I’ve seen over that time have been profound and wonderful.  The children are happy, bright and confident, they have plenty of friends, and they participate in a broad range of activities at home and within our community.

That day two summers ago the children played happily on the beach as we grown-ups were tossed around by the wild sea.  I would probably never have gone in if I’d known quite how scary it would be, but it was also one of the most fun experiences of my life.  And so is home-educating my children.  It’s all unfolding beautifully.

The beach that evening

Preliminary Observations

So on Monday I started an experiment aimed at prolonging the feeling of freedom and lightness I brought back from holiday.   So far, I’d say the experiment’s been a success, at least in so far as I have some insight into what usually happens to those good feelings as I settle back into the routine of daily life! Here are some observations so far:

1. I’ve noticed that when something works for me – goes well – I have a tendency to make it into a new rule or standard and then make myself wrong for not measuring up to it.  For instance, on Sunday I spontaneously tidied the children’s rooms before going downstairs for breakfast.  As I did it I felt good, and I thought to myself “Wow, that was easy.  If I did this every day their rooms would never have a chance to get too messy!”  Fast forward to today – as I brushed my teeth I found myself thinking “oh no, I’ve got to tidy their rooms before breakfast 🙁 “ !

2. Taking short breaks really works – and  I have to be very intentional to take them!  My default tendency is to take deferred gratification to the extreme – I’ve been known to delay having breakfast until mid-morning in order to be able to relax while I eat, after “everything else” is done (unloading the dishwasher … cleaning the kitchen … tidying the craft area …  emptying the cat litter… having a “quick vaccuum”…)!  But as Abraham-Hicks say, no one ever does anything or wants anything except for the reason that they think they will feel better for the doing or having of it.  So if the intention is to relax, then relax – instead of resentfully working away for two hours on the promise of five minutes “relaxation” – as if relaxation were a scarce resource, not of a state of mind and body we can choose at any moment!

I don’t know whether it’s the experiment or the spring sunshine, but I’m having a wonderful week.  The last two days I’ve found myself more than once contentedly sighing and thinking one of my favourite thoughts, “I’m so glad we home educate!”

Refreshed, Light And Free

Thanks to the French time difference, I woke up this morning refreshed and alert, much earlier than I normally do at home (certainly on a Sunday morning!).  While we were away I slept only a bit less than the children – with no TV to keep me up and pleasantly tired from skiing each day I enjoyed about 9 hours sleep a night.  Whenever I come back from Europe I resolve to utilise the time difference to create a new early-to-bed habit.  In the past this hasn’t lasted long.  I know in part this is because Big J doesn’t get home from work until about 730 pm, but I think if I want to give this habit a chance to stick, I need to look at the bigger picture.

Right now I’m still basking in post-holiday glow.  I feel light and free, almost floating around the house as I do the washing, make breakfast, cheerfully chat with the children.  Piles of clutter don’t bother me because in this refreshed state of mind I am confident I will get to them.  I have already sorted out C and J’s rooms and put away piles of washing and it’s not even 9 am.  In this state of mind, I can be as happy tidying as sitting in My Room with a cup of tea, blogging.  I am not making myself wrong for not doing things (admin, housework, creative projects with the children) and I am not squeezing the pleasure out of doing things I love by pressurising myself to “make the most of it”.  If Big J is grumpy I find it easy to happily go inside myself for a while instead of getting drawn into the bad mood.

The million dollar question is, how do I hold onto this feeling of being light and free?  I suspect the answer lies in rephrasing the question.  Life is a process, emotions are dynamic.  Trying to hold onto a feeling is like trying to repeatedly ski the same small patch of snow – you can’t experience the thrill of the ride unless you allow yourself to keep moving, and if you stay in the same spot too long you’ll mess up the snow anyway.  In skiing, the trick is to stay relaxed – which allows you to pass easily over any rough patches of snow – and take as many short breaks as you need (but don’t stop for too long until you’ve done as much as you want for the day, or you lose momentum).

So here’s my experiment for myself over the next few days:

  1. Stay relaxed, in my body and my mind (notice when I’m not and take a moment to gently let go of any tension)
  2. Take plenty of short breaks whenever I feel the need.  But not so long that I lose momentum or get stuck in a rut.

I’ll let you know how I get on!

Jas at Brack Feb 11

To The Coast

I love where we live.  We’re close enough to London for the capital’s culture to be part of our lives, yet an eighty minute drive through some of England’s prettiest villages brings us to the beach.  Best of all, my wonderful brother and sister-in-law and their scrumptious 10-week-old son live around the corner.  (Though my brother and I were born five years apart, our lives have shared many synchronicities, one of which is that we moved to the same town – 150 miles from where we grew up – within weeks of eachother.)

C and J at Brack Feb 11We came to the coast today to look at a house we’d like to buy.  It’s been a while since I’ve felt such strong desire for a material thing, but as with any desire, I know the key to its manifestation lies in feeling good.  I spent the journey to the coast listening to Abraham-Hicks recordings and focusing on good feeling thoughts, and sure enough by the time we arrived I was less attached to the outcome of the house situation and looking forward to a nice family weekend by the sea.

Jas at Brack Feb 11The rest of the day unfolded beautifully.  My brother spontaneously decided to come surfing, after which we had a delicious fish and chip supper with him and his family.  As regards the house – a call this afternoon from a friend put us in touch with a cash buyer for our current property, leaving us in the perfect position to make an offer on the new one.  And the children’s shoes are, once again, drying out on the radiator!

Cordie at Brack

Taking The Time To Align

Looking back, I can see that at 10am this morning, today could have unfolded in two very different ways.  As we left the Learning Centre where C and J do music lessons I was side-tracked by a book sale, and while I stopped to buy something C and J, experts at finding entertainment wherever they happen to find themselves, began joyfully running in and out of the automatic sliding doors to the outside.  I won’t dwell on what happened next; suffice to say that I was asked to stop my children running in and out of the door, C and J were disinclined to stop their fun, and I forgot all about my number one priority of feeling good – in fact we all got back into the car feeling Very Bad!

My tolerance for being outside of wellbeing is low – not only does it feel terrible, but I know that Law Of Attraction cannot possibly line me up with anything I want when I am so far out of whack.  So, I breathed;  I put Cecilia’s “Amazing Grace” into the car CD player and selected track 2, “Prayer Of St Francis”;  I opened a pot of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries; and I focused on becoming the channel of peace Cecilia was beatifically extolling.

Within minutes of leaving the Learning Centre, not only did my sense of lightness and ease return, but the Universe performed its side of the wellbeing equation beautifully: the synchronicities that flowed after those five minutes I had spent realigning with wellbeing were a perfect demonstration of the leveraging power of Source Energy.  Having spent the last few days fantasizing about driving a camper van round Europe and wondering where to find more information about it, I met a home educating mum who shared her experiences about doing just that, and even gave me a tour of her van (which, incidentally, runs on vegetable oil!); I “randomly” bumped into three old friends I’d been wanting to get in touch with (one of them twice!); and a house we’ve been wanting to buy for two years came up for sale.  My husband is cautious about our chances of being able to buy the house, but I’m more optimistic.  I’ve got special powers – I know about Law Of Attraction.

Stuff

I love Stuff.  Books, clothes, gadgets, stationery, toys, tools, utensils, candles, plants, appliances, linen. I derive enormous pleasure from bringing home a new scented candle, a silicone trivet, a pretty and snug thermal vest, a new set of lego, a non-spill cat food bowl, a long-armed stapler (I’d yearned for one of those for as long as I can remember; I can now create perfect little booklets out of A4 paper.  I’m sure I’ll find a use for them at some point.)  Stuff is fascinating, beautiful, life-enhancing.

Stuff can also clutter up my space and eat up my time and energy.

The equilibrium I aspire to is what Abraham-Hicks refer to as “a passing parade of stuff”:  let it in, play with it, let it go.  I’ve got the first two steps sorted, but when it comes to the third I appreciate all the help I can get.  That’s where Flylady comes in.

Over the last six years Flylady (reformed SHE (“Side-Tracked Home Executive”) Marla Cilley) has been (virtually) by my side, gently reminding me that I am not behind, to clear my hotspots, that babysteps are the best way of sustaining progress,  and that anything can be accomplished 15 minutes at a time.

I fall on and off the Flylady wagon, and when I’m serenely in my wellbeing I probably don’t need her. But on days like this, I love that by the simple acts of clearing some surfaces, straightening the tablecloth and putting some junk aside for recycling, I can move up the emotional scale from overwhelmed to contented in just 15 minutes, measured to the second on my kitchen timer.

Transforming Emotions

I woke up this morning with a dark, heavy feeling best described as “foreboding”, and since I begin each day with an intention to make feeling good my most important priority, I knew I had to find a way to move up the emotional scale.

I knew the foreboding was related to a particular person, and that distraction was only going to take me so far towards wellbeing, so over breakfast, with the help of my journal, I began to examine the feeling.  It came to me that I was terribly worried that this person was going to judge me, find me wanting (in their opinion) in some very important ways, and make it their business to tell me about it, and that consequently there was going to be horrible tension between us, and I was going to feel Very Bad.  No wonder the sense of foreboding!

Next, how to transform it… I took myself off to Marks & Spencer where, among the soothing T-shirts and cardigans, I allowed my unconscious to ponder how I could begin to claim back the power I was giving away.  As I pondered and admired blouses, my husband texted me that J (5) had been made to to sit out during rugby practice because of his angry outbursts at the coach. My heart went out to J – it’s tough learning to handle big emotions, but he’s been making good progress lately and I’m proud of him.  And then it came to me – how would I feel if the person I was making responsible for my sense of foreboding were my child, instead of someone I perceive as having power over me, whose approval I crave? In the reframed situation the problem literally shrunk in my mind, from something that had taken up almost all of my headspace, to something benign and managable.  If this person were my child, I wouldn’t take what they said as meaning anything about me – I would just love them and unconditionally support them through whatever suffering was causing them to lash out.

And so another “story” disappeared, leaving all that really is – love. And with me back in wellbeing, of course my communication  today with the person this post is about has been loving and light, on both sides.

Deliberate Creation

My blog byline (if that’s the correct word) describes me as a “home-educating deliberate creator”.  I use the words “deliberate creator” in the sense given by Abraham-Hicks in their body of work on the law of attraction.  I believe I am the creator of everything I experience, both positive and negative, which I attract by my thoughts and feelings. Since I came to understand this I have been playing a game of gradually training my focus towards what I want and away from what I don’t want.  I was born an optimist, which helps, but it’s amazing how much attention most of us (me included) give to unwanted conditions and situations.  As children we are brought up to tell “the truth” (tell it how it is), but while I can see the folly in sticking a happy face sticker over an empty petrol gauge, I’ve come to realise that giving my attention to unwanted things, for example by talking or writing about them, just keeps them in my life.

So this blog may seem a little Pollyanna-ish, and writing a post can take a bit longer than it might, on those days when I first need to focus my thoughts towards positive inspiration, but when I reflect on some of the incredible changes in my life since I started playing the deliberate creation game, there’s no question in my mind that it’s a price worth paying.

Basking In Wellbeing

What a lovely day. It started well, and got better and better as law of attraction did its stuff.  I’m not sure what the magic ingredient was that started it off – maybe a feeling of satisfaction at the end of  wonderful first week of home educating my daughter, maybe cuddling my 7 week old nephew for an hour at lunchtime, or it could have been seeing C and J laughing as they played “duck duck goose” with their friends at our home education group this afternoon.  By the time I got home I was buzzing and I knew my introverted brain needed recharging, but I felt so good I almost didn’t want to risk coming down by doing my daily meditation.  I’m so glad I did, though – the experience was exquisite; sublime, physically and emotionally.  Everyone around me cooperated in my bliss – my husband’s commute worked (for the first time this week!), J was full of gorgeous bedtime little-boy-cuddles, and C kept popping down after bedtime, explaining “I don’t know what it is, Mummy, but it’s like you’re a baby I just want to keep cuddling”.

I love basking in a new level of wellbeing.

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